A boring weekend day

It was a typical - boring - weekend day. I guess most people have to do their shopping for the weekend (groceries and such), as i have to. So i did some club-hopping to see if there were any friends somewhere. I had no luck, so i decided to visit the mall on Bondage Playground; i hadn't been there for quite some time.
I saw a really horrible little outfit and the thought came up, that i would be very humiliated wearing clothes like that. Then it occured to me that Miss Xaaya wanted me to put in my RLV folder an outfit in which i would feel humiliated. Since i like being well dressed i could very well imagine that i would be feeling that way, wearing this. I bought the outfit.
Later that night i had to explain the reason why i bought it and of course show it. Miss Xaaya agreed with my point of view and the outfit went into the RLV folder. May be i should not be so anticipating.....
I also had to show the isolation hood i bought earlier and Miss was pleased with it. That one also had to go into the RLV folder. This girl thinks Miss Xaaya will have Her hands full managing that folder.
The first thing i had to do however was something i really loved doing: making her owner of my collar.
Miss asked me about my feelings being forced to walk around cuffed all day. It won't be a suprise that i had to tell her i loved it. I told Her that being cuffed showed people, that there is someone that cares for me and that i love that feeling.
Miss Xaaya had more coming for me: She ordered me to attune a password to all my RR stuff, so She could get the real key of them all. She suggested that that would enable Her to order me to leave my keys in the cuffs for anybody to take them. I fear the moment some man will take them....
It was late already and after having received my tasks She send me off to bed. That is the only thing that concerns me a little: the difference in time-zones.

The fish senses the net

I was so looking forward to this day and then RL showed it's dominance again. I was only very late at home and the first thing i did was logging in.
She was there. Of course. I told Her RL had been in the way but that i could do nothing else but log in, even if it were for a short while. Had to see Her. I think that pleased Her.
Again She showed interest in how i feel, that is something that ties me even more to Her. I told Her it really felt good performing Her tasks and telling Her that made me aware of some tickling sensations in my tummy.
I told Her i bought yet another maids-outfit and an isolation hood of which i overheard people talk in som groupchat. She made me wear the maidsoutfit to inspect it. Suddenly She told me to remove the skirt and bend over. There i was standing with my naked, filled up but sticking in the air. She asked me if i could tell her why She wanted me to present myself like this. Of course i did. Miss wanted to check if i had fullfilled Her order to keep my buttplug in. Which i did, no doubt about that, although i had to adjust my clothing to that fact: catsuit were no option since the plug would have been visible to anybody; only wider skirts were hiding the thing.
Miss X approved of he maids-outfit, ordering me to put that in the RLV folder. After that She allowed me to wear something of my own choice. With the buttplug removed i choose a nice black catsuit. this particular one leaves my belly and lower back uncovered, thus showing my tattoo. For that reason i like this outfit very much. Fortunately Miss approved off it too so i am allowed to wear it.

Then She started talking about the RLV folder again. The fisherwoman was pulling in the fish some more again as Miss ordered the keys of this girls police cuffs, ownership of her mars ring and locked her boots and cuffs and the sound of that made her feel so happy.

Before i could log off and heading for my bed Miss X asked me if i had any questions. I did not have a real question at that point, but She gives me that feeling....
I did not know whether i would be too forward, so i hesitated, but She urged me to tell Her. I told Her that i would love her permission to say a little something about Her in my profile. She granted me that, telling me that She wanted me to update my blog, which i have done by now (saturday morning, first thing).

You want to know the name of this great Lady? A Domme that does not need to say She is the best? I think i am allowed to let you know by now. The name of the Mistress that does not need to own my collar to own me is Mistress Xaaya Jacobus.
I hope i will be good enough for Her to take full possession of me.

Miss X again

Being a lot with Eefje and finally having some fun in this virtual, but to me a so real world, i started to realize i was mssing something, someone: .......... Miss X

I talked about Her with Eefje and that felt good. Eefje is entitled to know about me since i look at her as my friend, a friend with whom i sometimes do basic bdsm-things. She likes to leash me in women's club The Cellar, she like me kneeling for her when she is sitting on the sofa and i let her try out a new cage she bought. She locked me in, setting the timer. I allowed her doing so because i trust her not to set the timer so, that i am prevented of being with Miss X. That would be unacceptable to me.
What Eefje and i are doing is more licking an icecream then actually eating it: we stay at the surface it is not all that serious. All in all i am getting very fond of Eefje.

Miss X returned the 24th telling me she had RL things preventing Her from being online, so She wasn't testing me, my patience, my loyalty. that did not lessen the joy i felt being with Her again, feeling Her presence.
She started asking if i was free again and i told Her about Eefje. I could do so, since we technically are not involved (Miss X and myself i mean) so i knew She would not object. Of course the real reason i told Her was because i want to be totally honest with Her, want Her to get to know me.
She was interested what i have been up to besides Eefje and told her
updating ...
and updating ...
and updating ...
and updating ...
She wanted to hear what it was i had to update. That is how we started talking of the shared folder; i had to tell Her all about it and, as to be expected She took quite an interest in this new feature. While informing Her i felt my stomach pleasantly knotting, my hands a little sweatty. She asked me what i did put in the RLV folder and i told Her nothing yet; that i was waiting for my future Mistress to instruct me on that.
Without any hesitation She started telling me what She wanted me to put in:

  • a full set of cuffs
  • a gag
  • a dildo
  • a buttplug
  • a chastity device
  • the mars ring of compliance
  • 2 collars
  • 2 or 3 classy outfits for daily use
  • a maids outfit
  • a full latex doll outfit
  • a slutty outfit

I immediately started feeling like i described in an earlier post: that hooked fish slowly but irresistible being pulled in.
As if She could read my mind She asked about my feelings so we talked a little about fishing :-) It ended up me confessing that i am heading more and more to wanting to submit to Her.
It was not very surprising Miss X wanted to recieve an overview of the stuff i put in the RLV folder for Her. I asked Her when She wanted it to be ready and She told me that She was not sure if She could be online tomorrow (wednesday) and that friday would be satisfactory.
Before i had to log off for the night She told me to put in a buttplug and when i was prepared i should bend over and tp Her for inspection. The plug was to be in untill next time we met.

Since i really like Her to be pleased with me i got to work as soon as possible to have things ready. Should She be able to make it online the RLV folder and the listing would be at Her disposal. I informed Her that i had problems with the full latex doll outfit, since i am not all that familiar with it and asked for Her guidance. Hardly can wait till friday.


In my last blog i did not talk about (Miss) Eefje.
About a week ago i was lonely, bored and getting more and more rebellious. I was in Club Shackles and saw their randsom cages. I thought what the heck and choose a cage to lock myself in. The cages all have a different price-tag; i did not choose the cheapest one (i have some self-esteem) nor did i get in the most expensive one, that would be arrogant, something i hope i am not.
Some people tried to get me out that night, but for some reason they did not succeed; it might have been them not knowing how to do so or good old SL being just herself. So i stayed overnight.
The next morning Eefje came to Shackles and she bailed me out. Since there are actually no rules for service in return i almost had to convince her to claim me for some time. I handed over my subbylist which so found too long, asking for a summary. So i wrote a summary notecard for her and told her that if she thought it wasn't to her liking i could buy myself free from her.

We talked some time and Eefje asked me if i was prepared to adjust my shape to her liking when i would be hers in future. She wanted me to be less tall and less "curvy".
Since the shape is modify i told her i could do so right away, so i modified my shape and saved it as hers. This made it necessairy of course to re-position my collar. Merely by coincidence i have more then one collar, so i took another collar and put it on, making her owner of that collar.
We agreed that i would wear that shape and that collar only when i was with her. The rest of the time i would by myself.
As the time passed by Eefje appeared to be the loving, cuddling type, that loves dancing with me. I felt pretty soon that i like her a lot, but that she never will be my Mistress. I told her so out of respect and to not let grow false expectations.

Miss X

I am back on my feet again, sometimes not even on just two but on all fours. It shows i am open for a new phase in my life.
May be that has already began without me realizing it. In the first days of this month i met a Lady on bondage ranch, let's call Her Miss X.
We got in contact because She asked me about my Momento. From that day on She contacted me on a regular, almost daily, basis. She got me to talk about myself and at some point we talked about the bdsm-stuff i have. I told Her that i made a listing of all my equipment for a former Mistress and She expressed Her wish me giving Her that list. Unfortunately i had not updated it for some time and i told Her so. She ordered me to update it, asking me when She could expect the updated notecard. She wasn't in a hurry as long as She got it soon ......
I told Her that, due to rl, my guess was within a week. The next day, saturday i was able to be online unexpectedly and not much was going on so i decided to work on my overview. Later She came too and immediately She asked if i was working on my list. I told Her i was and that maybe i was able to finish it much sooner then i had expected. She started talking to me asking all kind of difficult questions, just to distract me from working in my list. Smiles.....
I managed to finish it though and gave Her a copy. We talked some more and She went off.
From that day on She started asking me questions about things on my list and in some cases told me to hand over the manual.
I have heard nothing from Her for two days now. I am wondering if She is just too busy or She is testing me. Who knows, but Miss X is intriguing me.......

Back on my feet again

It has been a few days now since my curious break up with my trial Mistress. I am recovering slowly from the series of feelings that ran through my mind recently.
I will stop here, since i promised not to talk about the things that lead to our separation. And i do want to keep that promise. of course i talked about it with a very few close friends. Others i told i do not want to talk about it.
Anyway coming back on my feet means that i am slowly opening up again to the possibility of being owned. As some of us know there are not many good and sincere Dom(me)s, so it will be even more difficult then it was untill now, since some of the few that were considered to be a "good Domme" appeared not to be.
I will keep posting, but only when there is something to write about, so forgive me periods of silence.

It ended before it really started

It has ended.....
What can i say about it? Actually quite a lot. I will not though.
Let's just keep it to stating that She and i are not a match.

So i am on my own again.

The after-noon

I was nervously excited for the things to come this afternoon. I would meet up with Emilee, the property of Miss Mazi, who would interview me at 08.00h SL-time.
I stayed online almost all day waiting for Emilee to come online, but Miss Mazi came on first. To my surprise She offered me a tp to Her home. Arriving there She told me that She disliked my lovely red and black latex outfit and that She wanted me to change. That, in itself simple demand, was difficult since i remembered from last time that Miss Mazi does not like waiting. What made it much more difficult though is that i do not know yet what She likes in clothing and that my wardrobe is rather well stocked, but i didn't review my clothes for a long time. So i asked Miss Mazi what She would like me to wear and i got answered, that it should not be prim-stuff and no black. That did not help me much and since i did not want to keep Her waiting i just put on something from Kayliwulfs. She did not approve and made that very clear the rest of the afternoon. What bothered me however was the clothes She did make me wear. Not as much the fact that i had to wear them, but that they were presented as nice clothes (sorry Emilee). They are not in the least.
Then there was a word in english i did not understand. I had to suffer for that. I had to repeat 16 words that Miss Mazi's property had come up with and i had to repeat them over and over again in different order, so i could not copy paste. It was not all that easy, but i wanted to do well and i concentrated. I managed quite well untill Emilee expressed her aprroval, which broke my concentration. I messed up from that point on.
After Miss Mazi had left, i felt terrible; i was sad and confused and hurt. My mother always says that i have a strong sense of justice and that was what felt to be violated.
My pretty clothes being changed into plain stuff and demanding me to speak the language as good as two native speakers was more than i felt up to. I almost gave up. Almost.....

Later than planned Emilee interviewed me. I tried to answer her questions as good as i was able to and before i knew it, i had to log off for dinner.

A morning with mixed emotions

Miss Mazi did not return online last night. I felt confused ... was this Her way of teaching me to be there when She is? Did i upset Her, losing my chance of becomming Hers?
So, before i did my morning rituals, i logged in, hoping She was late online. She was. I was really happy to see Her, especially when She told me Her power went out and that was why She had not been able to return. I felt relieved, but not for long....
Miss Mazi has a perfect feeling on how to keep me on the edge as She did once again tell me W/we will have a long talk later today and that She will decide on my fate.
She told me to friend with Her girl Emilee and that i should adress her politely. Emilee is going to interview me later today too.
So talking to Miss Mazi early this morning was nice since it put me at ease concerning yesterday, but on the other hand She made me nervous and excited telling me what is going to happen later today.

The day after the day after that night

Yesterday i wasn't able to come online and i really was looking forward to this day. I do not know what Miss Mazi has in mind for me, which makes me nervous and excited at the same time.
Unfortunately real life spoiled my day, since i had to see an important client unexpectedly. This kept me from even being close to my computer at the time of day when Miss Mazi usually is online, at the end of my afternoon. After dinner i logged on and i was happily surprised to find Miss online. I greeted Her and the only thing She said was "where have you been?" and "we will talk later". After that She did not say a word anymore and half an hour later She logged off, leaving me a little confused and not knowing whether i did something wrong or not.
I guess i will have to wait till later tonight to find out.

A night to remember

Welcome to my blog. This is my first post and at te moment i do not have a clue how it will be going to look like.
Me posting here is the result of an order given to me by a Mistress of whom i hope to become Hers.
I didn't expect this to happen. By that i mean i did not expect to have to maintain a blog and, more important, had serious doubts She would continue with me.
The last days were a little excercise in patience when i look back at it, but in that time i feared She would decide to send me away.
She makes me feel insecure, makes me feel little, so there is not much needed to get me doubting. Then, suddenly, She told me to start this blog on a daily base and ......

               as off today i am on trial with Her !!!!

The moment i heard Her telling me i had to write that in my profile i forgot that i had this blog to take care of from now on; i forgot the past few days in which i tried to prepare myself somehow for the blow of Her sending me away. She did not and i am excited.
Don't know what to write just now anymore so i will end this post here and log on again to change my profile.