Sunday, March 29th 2009

Today, sunday March 29th, i was sceduled for the last vist before my delivery is due somewhere next week. It was a special visit, since i would be having my Lamaze Class, my introduction on how the day of my delivery will be and things i have to pay attention to.

There was something else that made it special: i was there all alone. For the first time during my pregnancy i was on my own. To say the least, it wasn't nice....
My beloved wife Annemie, my Life as i use to call her (the only correct way to adress her, since she is my life), still is in a coma This made things even harder for me.
No need to say i felt empty, as filled as i am at the moment. My world simply does not turn without Her. I cried without shedding tears during my visit.
My check up showed, that i am (physically) in a perfect condition: i gained another 2 kg, and my bloodpressure and temperature are excellent. The small rise in temperature is quite normal in this stage of the pregnancy, as is the frequent kicking of that precious little one inside me.
After the check up i was instructed on the delivery and the doctor gave me a form to fill out, so that the names of both parents and child will be entered correctly in the Birth Certificate.

Afterwards i returned home and could not bring myself to do anything; i just stood there in the garden with my emotions running up and down my body, feeling so terribly lonely.

Fortunatelly Miss O was there several times, although for short periods and at those moments She supported me as much as She could. Here we were standing at the church, that i would remove the next day. the church in which we had much happier times only recently.

Concerning news

One remark before i let you get to my post as i wrote it originally:
i had this post ready for quite some time, but did not want to post it earlier, since i was not able to inform all of my sisters. I do not want them to be informed about familymatters over my blog.
This means that the posts that followed wear not published either for the same obvious reasons and, of course, to not mess up the chronological sequence.

Last thursday i received a message that my Life was hospitalized again. I could not post this information before i had talked to my sisters, that is why i held it back untill now.
She probably has had a hemorrhage and her PA had alarmed the emergency services. She was found unconscious.
It is really serious this time; she is in a coma although her vital signs seem to be stabilized and she still has good brain activity.

Miss O offered me some moments of comfort; the rest of the weekend i wandered around SL, but mostly i sat staring, empty headed at one of my musing spots or thinking back at recent moments, golden or black as ink.....

Preparation for delivery

Today, sunday March 22nd i had an appointment in the maternity clinic. During the whole visit i had an uneasy, an empty feeling: my Life was hospialized in RL and therefore not able to go with me. Fortunately my sister Amanda accompanied me, but i had quite a bit of persuading to do to get her to say yes (winks).
Apart from the routine check up (bloodpressure excellent, temperature perfect, weight +3 kg !!!! ) i was sceduled for a visit to the delivery suites.

The clinic has four suites, one of which is under water. I had to choose the suite i want to deliver in. A task i did not like too much all by myself, without my Life with me. I had help though.
Not only did Amanda choose the same suite as i did, my Life had come online in MSN to provide moral support and was able to tell me her wishes.
I will show you all four suites; the order is determined by their names: Suite #1, Suite #2, Suite #3 and Suite #4 *smiles*
I won't tell you which one i choose; of course i did tell my Life.

Nothing much going on

My Life, being my Mistress came up with a little assigment. You may say "ooohhh, is that all?", but i can assure you being pregnant in the stage i am in, it was hard enough.
So what was it that She wanted me to do? I had to dress sexy, go to a D/s cub and dance with my big belly with two Mistresses. Where is the hard part in that i hear you ask yourself? I will tell you. Since the clothes in SL are not made of stretchmaterial it is very hard to find sexy clothes, that do not look ridiculous, that do not disappear ni my belly. THAT is the hard part. But, i think i found something that you can call sexy and i did find some Mistresses who were willing to dance with me.

The last days there is not much going on. My Life is paying the price for her excitement, her stress as she is going through a down-period. Of course it is not only the stress, although that is not good for her. It is the tumor growing and demanding its place in her brain. This appears not to happen gradually, but with little shocks causing a period of bad days on her part.
In these periods she is only little online, just enough to tell me how much she loves me and to be with me for a little while. When she is we don't talk all that much, just enjoy eachothers presence. Trying to comfort her.
Her not being there makes SL an empty place......

After she left i took some pics of my constantly expanding belly. When my Life is around i feel pretty with my big belly; when she is not i just feel whale-ish. I know how much she adores my belly, so these pics are for her, for my Life. Love you so much honey.

Sunday, March 15th

After a quiet saturday i took my Life to the church on sunday so she could have a quiet look. No stress anymore, no disturbances; just her and me. Of course she wanted to walk down the aisle with me.

Later that afternoon we had our next weekly appointment in the birth clinic. A very special one: today i would get an ultrasound; we will get to see our little one for the first time! But first Dr. Tracee did the routine check: again i gained weight: 63 kg now!, starting to feel wale-ish. My bloodpressure still is good (115/74) as is my temperature (36,8°C). Miek's heartrate appeared to be steady: 145.

Then it all happened: little Miek became visible on the monitor; breathtaking.............

The night after the day before

For all you curious ones, i will post here some pics of a more intimate nature. We reserved the bedroom in the Annemarie Niekerk Memorial Grounds for this occassion. This would be the moment we really would inaugurate this new land.

Since i do not need to explain what happened, i just show you the pics.

Friday, March 13th 2009 - Weddng Day

Before putting up the pics i want to say some things.

I want to thank my sister Tasja and Miss O for the effort they have made and all the work they have done for my Life and me.
I also want to thank Llola and Sven for accommodating the reception/ party in the Ozland Ballroom and for decorating the place, setting up the donation jar for the Dutch Cancer Foundation.
Last but certainly not least i want to thank Angee for performing for us.

Thank you all so much; we will never forget what you have done to make our wedding the best ever.

For all readers: this post will offer quite some pics, although i limited myself in number and topic (the "night after" will be shown in a seperate post, so you decent folks can skip that one *grins*).

For me it still was thursday evening when i met up with Miss O. All was fine, i was a little stressed but not nervous; i simply had not had them time to be. That changed to moment we checked our times and i realized that with Miss O it was already friday. I got nervous instantly. I guess that was because i am a subby and therefore o love control. Mostly being controlled, but where it comes down to organizing/ managing i like to be the one in control (who was it that called me a "sweet dominant"?) and the last days had not been in control 100%. Tasja and Miss O had done things outside my view and Llola and Sven had forbidden me even to come over and have a peek. Speaking of bdsm.......

Finally friday morning.
Tonight i will become mrs Niekerk, mrs A. Niekerk, wow! do i feel priviliged.
We had done some last changes in the church since it appeared that my sister Brigitte would be able to make it after all. which was a very nice surprise. This meant all family would be present except for Emma, poor Emma.
I must honestly confess that i do not remember much of what i did all day. I know i talked to a lot off people, invited some late guests into our wedding group, but that is about it. My mind is blank.

At some point i went to dinner as planned in order to back in time. I always stay online, in busy mode and was that some fortune....
Returning at my keyboard i found an email by my Life telling me in panic she could not login, my IM window was filled with so many IM's of people not being able to login, that stretching that window over my full screen did notenable me to see them all. And mind You, i do have a 24" screen!! I immediately checked the grid-status sight and read that the Linden bunch had disabled logins to master problems. So much for being well prepared: i had forgotten to tell Linden not to do a viewer update till after the wedding. Stupid me!

Since my Master of Ceremonies could not loging either and the clock approached 12:00 SLT i decided to leave on my normal clothes and i went to the church entrance to act as stand-in for my MoC. A few minutes past our starting time the message got through that logings were enabled again. However i did not see anybody come online again. Checking the Linden-site learned that that message was removed again, but despite that i received information of people being able to login, so i had some hope, that logging in was possible again. It didn't take too long before i saw someone from my friendslist coming online and that gave me some hope. Unfortunately everbody wanted to come online so it took quite some time before logins went more smoothly. Finally, with a 45 minutes delay, we could start our wedding ceremony.

I will let the pics speak for themselves. For a better understanding, i want to give you some information.
The celebrant (leading the actual ceremony) is Miss O, the bridesmaids were Amanda and Julie (our pregnant sister) and Tasja as Master of Ceremonies/ Maid of Honour. On the opposite side Brigitte (in the back) and Eva were sitting. All of them dressed in the same blue dress.
Miss O was the first to enter the church and take her place behind the desk. After that Julie accompanied my Life to the front of the church and finally Amanda did the same with me.

(since these are my pics, i do not have a pic of my Life walking down the aisle, but i a sure our photographer will have taken care of that)